Becoming at Peace

Had trouble sleeping last night. I have been trying to put the events of the last week/month/year/decade into perspective. So much has changed, so much has happen. I have had joys (grandkids I think tops the list). I have had sorrows. I feel for my friends who are dealing with upheaval in their live. I have prayed for family and friends that are dealing with cancer hand illnesses.

Like most of us I try to deal with it by imposing my view of the world and how I would like it to be. Last night I tried to find peace by imagine my Dad and his brother in Heaven. I tried to place them in places that would bring me comfort. I remember the the 2 two of them arguing about the dumbest things. I remember one argument at the cottage and they were "discussing" why the traffic was bad driving up to the cottage. I think one of the said it was because of a light and the other had the view that it was the right turn at the same light.

I am not exactly sure if this was exactly what the discussion was about all I remember is everyone else laughing at 2 stubborn old men who had the up most respect for each other arguing a silly point. I think sometimes they were laughing inside the whole time.

Even with joyous image peace did not come to me. I think the greatest stress we put on ourselves is trying place ourselves in the center of the world. It is a hard thing to accept and in some ways we really never accept that.

I have friends from many spiritual faiths, and from I have learned from many of them is the same thing we are taught as Christians. True peace comes from placing others at the center and serving them. 6 years ago the earth lost someone who practiced that. This week his Brother, my Uncle Gordon joined him in Heaven.

 

So last night as I was trying to find sleep sheer exhaustion seemed to take over.  I gave up trying to impose my view of things and I found peace in the simple vision of those that have passed on.  There was no context no familiar settings.  The images were faint and blurry but it was clear that it was people such as my dad and his brother, my mother in law, my daughter's father in law.  These people were not interacting with each other as I felt they should.  It was a scene of the portraying these loved ones passed doing what they had done all their lives here on earth.  Looking down on us watching us caring for us.  Even in heaven they have the watch.

Back to Training/Back to Rest/Back to Training/Back to rest/ the cycle begins

So after the follow up visit and being cleared it was time to get back to training!!  Yippee!!!!!!!!

It is hard to put into words how difficult it is to begin training again after a lay off.  It had been pretty close to a month since I followed a routine of any sort.  The physical aspects are really the minor elements of it.  It is getting all of the logistical and mechanical pieces put in place.

Briefly recapping:
February 3rd, Knee scoped
February 4th, Report to Coach, no scheduled training until after follow up visit
February 12th, follow up visit,  all clear to bike/swim/and limited weight training
February 13th, First training session 30 minute easy bike.

Actually that first week trying was pretty straight forward.  Wednesday was the follow up visit so Thursday was the 30 minute bike ride.  Friday was scheduled to rest and then Saturday was another 30 minute bike ride. Sunday rest again.  Very simple 1 hour on the bike.  Jump on the bike ride a bit and then off the bike, rest a day and then do it again. Simple, or so I thought.

The first ride was during the week and I also was back at work.  With limited sunlight hours the ride would need to be done in doors on my spin trainer.  This was actually a good thing.  My surgeon suggest that rides on a stationary bike would be better for the first couple of rides. This would essentially eliminate the risk of falling and doing further damage to the knee.  Since I had not ridden for a month I would generally be a little less stable on the bike.   Less stable, the greater the odds of falling.  In all a good plan to be on the spin trainer.

I had put the spin trainer away before Christmas and now it was time to get it out and mount up. Well it took about 45 minutes to get everything in place and adjusted correctly.  The long set up time was not normal.  It was extended because I could not remember where things were and how to put them together.  These are the logistical things we quite often think about when setting our training schedules.  This was a typical sequence of occurrences;

It always starts with "okay I'm ready"
I get on the bike, and realize I forgot to set the resistance
I get off the bike and set the resistance
I get on the bike and realize I forgot my heart monitor
I get off the bike and look for the monitor
I then remember I forgot my water bottle.
I find and fill my water bottle.
I get back on the bike and as I am starting to peddle I remember that the reason that I got off the bike in the first place was to get my heart monitor
I get off the bike
I find the monitor and put it on.
I get back on the bike and start to peddle

When I am in mid season training all of this is second nature.  I still make mental errors in mid season training but not as many as the this first day returning to training.  Saturday's ride was outdoors and a little better but still kind of comical.

I went easy on myself for all the mental errors, after the bike ride does involve a lot of gear.  You have special bike shoes, a helmet, special shorts etch..  Monday of the following week was my first swim.  It just like the bike short and low intensity.  So lets run down the list of my self imposed difficulties.  I could not find my bathing suit at first,  I did not even think to look for my googles (luckily they were in my bag).  I almost left without a towel and when I got the Natatorium I realized that I did not have a lock for my locker.

Needless to say I got better.  Physically the first workouts were tough.  The bike was much easier than the swims.  My workouts continued to be short, low intensity and spaced out.  My first 1 hour swim was about 2 weeks after the follow up appointment and I have to tell you, it was tough.  I barely made through but I did and it felt good.  The best of all through this was that my knee did not give me any problems.

As I was getting back into this all I was also getting some extra yard work done.  Yard work was one of the first techniques I used to loss weight.  Rather than sit in front of the TV I would go out in the yard for an hour and work in the yard.  I remember cutting the lawn two nights in a row just to get off the couch.  Yard work is cheaper than a Gym membership and my yard looks better for it.  One of the best weight loss tools I bought was a $19.99 teaching rake at Home Depot.  I really think they could increase sales selling their tools as exercise equipment.

Well, unfortunately I over worked my self in the yard and ended up with a pulled muscle in my groin.  Pretty painful, at first I could hardly lift my legs high enough to walk.  Getting up the stairs was very difficult.  Getting into bed nearly impossible, rolling over the same.

So back to rest it is for a while until the pain subsides.  The cycle rolls on.

Surgery Day and following Days

What can I say about this day.  I showed up they put needles in I passed out, I woke up with a newly scoped knee.  What actually happened while I was out I could not tell you.  I had the surgery at Methodist hospital in McKinney Texas.  My day was less about the surgery and more about wondering how much everything will cost in this 5 star type hotel/Hospital.

In this hospital it is pretty difficult to tell if you are in a hospital until you are in the pre-op area.  I have had the pleasure of staying in some nice hotels and this hospital would rival any of them.  Is that what we need our health care dollars to do?  I guess that if you were interested in the country's debate regarding health care you would not be reading this blog.

My right leg was wrapped from mid thigh down to my ankle in an ace bandage.  I could see the swelling and it hurt a little but not enough to make my wish that I had filled the prescription for 30 hydrocodone (see the previous post).  The final instructions from the doctor were pretty simple.  No running, no lunges and no deep knee exercises.  Everything else was pretty much left up to my discretion.  I was given crutches and told that I could put as much weight on it as I could bear.  So off to home it was.  All in all I got to spend about 3 hours in the 5 star hospital.

Not much to say about the remainder of Monday or even Tuesday.  I enjoyed being cared for by my wife.  By Tuesday afternoon I was just a little stir crazy.  So I logged into work and addressed a few details and that's how the first couple of days went.  Also I definitely did not need any pain meds I took a few Ibuprofen over those first few days and that was it.  By Wednesday it was back to work.

My paying job is to teach computer classes (teaching nerds to be better nerds as I say).  Almost all the classes I teach are 5 day classes.  When I take a few days off during a week I am pretty much useless to the company for the remaining days of the week.  So the remaining days of the week were spent prepping future classes and reviewing the network in the facility.  All in all it was a pretty uneventful week (other than the surgery).  By Wednesday I had pretty much ditched the crutches, and was getting around fairly well.

Prior to all this my wife had planned to go away Thursday to Sunday with friends.  Since I was recovering well she went off to her weekend and I was pretty much on my own.  I did have some help if I needed it.  My only concern was that there would be a major incident with the house/car etch.  that I would not be able to deal with.  I could get around ok but I still had trouble bending the knee.  I would have been unable to crawl under the sink and fix a bad leak or get on the roof if the wind had blown some shingles off.  So I had the husband of one of my wife's traveling companions on call if I needed help.  Thankfully the weekend was quiet and without incident.  The most exciting thing all weekend was taking the dog to the dog park.

Through this week I did no training.  My coach wanted to wait for the follow up appointment.  This was scheduled for the Wednesday the week following the surgery.  This again was uneventful.  The doctor was interested in 2 basic things. 1 the incisions were healing without infection and that I could sufficiently bend the knee.  It took about 2 minutes to verify both of these.  No pus no infection,   I was sitting in the examination room with my knee at about a 30 degree angle when the doctor came in, so that confirmed the knee bending thing.  Again simple instructions,  bike and swim as much as possible. Weights training anything but lunges and deep knee stuff and still no running.  I made an appointment for 1 month and off I went. 

Next post back to training.

Back to the Surgeon

So the MRI shows a torn meniscus.  This is good news!  Instead of a diagnosis of arthritis and  prognoses that does not include any running it should be a quick scope and of to the races.

At this point I wanted to return to my original orthopedic surgeon, the one that called me a wimp.  So after a little red tape and a few phone calls I was set to see him.  I was confident that I would be scheduled to for a quick orthoscopic surgery and It would be back to the races.

Well that was a short period of optimism.  He was right back to the arthritis thing again.  This time the suggest therapy was a knee replacement.  That would really put the final nail in my running coffin.  I was still filled with all the skeptical feelings from my previous encounters with the previous doctors.

I continue to be skeptical with regards to the arthritis diagnosis.  Especially due to the inconsistencies in diagnosis.  When the doctor  moved my knee (articulated the knee joint?) he said the grinding noise was the arthritis setting in.  Well I said it has been setting in for a long time because my knee has done that exact noise for 30 years.  He also gingerly pushed on my knee cap and at the same time told me that a knee replacement would alleviate the pain of the knee cap sliding on the tibia (or femur).  When he did this I think he expected me to wince.  Because he moved it again, this time a little harder.  Still no reaction from me (it simply did not hurt).  After a couple more less than gentle pushes on the knee cap he stopped.

The long and the short of it was that the doctor agreed to do a scope to repair the meniscus.  He did so with the warning that I may be back in 3 to 6 months for that knee replacement.  When this course of action was decided he offered to do the surgery on Thursday.  I thought good that is soon, I can have the surgery and be quickly on my way to recovery.  Before I agreed ii quickly did the calendar arithmetic.  Today was Wednesday tomorrow is Thursday that would mean that the surgery would be the next day.  Whoa, just a minute.  1 day (actually it would have been about 16 hours ) notice. 

There is no way I could get all the logistical pieces together for a next day surgery.  I would have to have to make sure work is covered.  Since a general anesthetic would be used I would have to get my wife to pick me up, so she would have to make arrangements to get her work stuff covered.  Usually there is pre op type work needing to be done, prescriptions to pick up etc. 

I was a little apprehensive asking for the next available day.  I am aware that the doctor is very busy and if I turn down the day offered it could be another couple of weeks before another slot is available.  Fortunately there was a slot on the following Monday.  In fact he had several slots open.  The reason for all the open slots;  most everyone's health insurance had changed at the new year.  The biggest change was a huge increase in deductibles.  So everyone was cancelling elective surgeries due to the higher out of pocket cost.

So now I had time to get everything in order for the surgery.  My next biggest surprise was the prescriptions.  They gave me 2 prescriptions, one for pain and one for the nausea that the pain pills cause.  As always the prescriptions were difficult to read.  So when I took them to my pharmacist I ask how many pain pills I was to receive.  After picking myself up off the floor I decided not to get the script.  It was for 30 pills!!  I do not want 30 of those things around my house.  From past experiences I knew I was unlikely to take many of them and so I would be left with deciding how to get rid of them.  The pharmacist said that they would keep them on file and if I needed them I could call and pick them up.

Next post: Surgery Day



Knee replacement running study