Becoming at Peace

Had trouble sleeping last night. I have been trying to put the events of the last week/month/year/decade into perspective. So much has changed, so much has happen. I have had joys (grandkids I think tops the list). I have had sorrows. I feel for my friends who are dealing with upheaval in their live. I have prayed for family and friends that are dealing with cancer hand illnesses.

Like most of us I try to deal with it by imposing my view of the world and how I would like it to be. Last night I tried to find peace by imagine my Dad and his brother in Heaven. I tried to place them in places that would bring me comfort. I remember the the 2 two of them arguing about the dumbest things. I remember one argument at the cottage and they were "discussing" why the traffic was bad driving up to the cottage. I think one of the said it was because of a light and the other had the view that it was the right turn at the same light.

I am not exactly sure if this was exactly what the discussion was about all I remember is everyone else laughing at 2 stubborn old men who had the up most respect for each other arguing a silly point. I think sometimes they were laughing inside the whole time.

Even with joyous image peace did not come to me. I think the greatest stress we put on ourselves is trying place ourselves in the center of the world. It is a hard thing to accept and in some ways we really never accept that.

I have friends from many spiritual faiths, and from I have learned from many of them is the same thing we are taught as Christians. True peace comes from placing others at the center and serving them. 6 years ago the earth lost someone who practiced that. This week his Brother, my Uncle Gordon joined him in Heaven.

 

So last night as I was trying to find sleep sheer exhaustion seemed to take over.  I gave up trying to impose my view of things and I found peace in the simple vision of those that have passed on.  There was no context no familiar settings.  The images were faint and blurry but it was clear that it was people such as my dad and his brother, my mother in law, my daughter's father in law.  These people were not interacting with each other as I felt they should.  It was a scene of the portraying these loved ones passed doing what they had done all their lives here on earth.  Looking down on us watching us caring for us.  Even in heaven they have the watch.